Mar. 17, 2017

Is the Love Real?

Thinking back to my earlier years, I realize how naive we really become when we fall in love.  

Wow, I remember seeing him for the first time and thinking he was FINE... (showing my age) Hanging out in front of the store with his friends.  That should of definitely been my first clue.  I would make excuses to cross the street and go to the store with my girls just to pass by him.  But, I never seemed to catch his attention, although I tried. 

One Friday night my cousin, friends, and I planned to go to the club.  We agree to meet up around 10 o'clock.  Making sure I'm looking good from head to toe, I head out. We get inside the club,  get a table, and order our favorite during that time una botela de Remy Martin. The music was blaring and Benny Sadel was performing.  We were having a great time when a group of guys came in and sat at the table across from us.  When I look over to my surprise who do I see but Mr. Fine, himself.  I instantly whispered to my friend, "Look who is here!"  

Trying to act natural while Mr. Fine sits right across from me.  That was hard, but obviously I must of pulled it off because here he came and asked me to dance.  I felt my heart almost jump out of my chest as I put my hand in his and glided to the dance floor. We danced the most perfect merengue and then continued to dance the night away.  The night was finally coming to an end and we exchange numbers.  He promised to call me the next day and then off he went.

The next day he calls and we talked and made plans to see each other later that evening.  I get ready and we meet up with some of his friends.  I couldn't believe that after all this time of me swooning over this guy here I am. Things were going really good for a long while and we both declared our love for each other.  

Soon I began to get suspicious.  I would beep him and he would take a little longer each time to call me back, I would see him talking to girls I was unfamiliar with, hanging out with new people and I wasn't invited.  I would ask him and he would tell me that I was imagining things or that they were just friends.  Being 20, naive, and in love I believed all of his bullshit.  Until that one day, I was on my way to work and as I am walking to my job I see a girl who passes by me with a name chain on and guess whose name was on it, HIS. I knew it was his because she was one of the girls I had seen him talking to weeks prior.  Of course, that hit me like a ton of bricks.  I beeped him and he called me back, and as we know with these types of men, he gave me a story which I believed.  

Time passed and at this point the relationship was going through its highs and lows.  More lows than highs.  To follow came more girls, hickeys, late nights out alone, and finally indifference on his behalf.  Although I was the one being betrayed, hurt, and made a fool of I was still willing to try and work things out. It didn't matter what I did he was already checked out. No matter what he did I was still the doting partner.  I continued to cook, clean, and was always available for him. That never made a difference, he didn't change. 

As much as I knew in my mind that I should have walked away my heart wouldn't allow me to.  It's funny how the mind and the heart never work in unison when it comes to matters of the heart.  

Well to give you the end to this story, I finally walked away when I had enough. I walked away a changed woman and 6 months pregnant.  I realized that I was better than him and that the love he professed to have for me  was never Real Love. 

Today I can say I am grateful for the heartache and the lessons that this relationship taught me.  Most of all I am grateful for the most amazing gift of all, my daughter. 

Love Is Blind...